Blinding

Coastal winds and bright sun did their little dance, playing with the water in the Bay today and creating a sparkling light like diamonds that was fairly blinding at times. These are the moments that are ultra mini vacations. The "I have only a minute and I've taken no pictures" moments. Ultra, ultra mini vacations. Still pausing, still breathing the air, still thanking God for a glorious day, but ever so briefly did I pause here at the Bay after cleaning the Cottage and before going to Mother Comforts for a bit of dinner.

Quite a bit of pondering went on in my little head today. Bits about how important thoughts and information are often totally overlooked by the cares of this world. How it is pretty safe to be totally honest with almost everybody when you don't want them to know what you're doing or thinking because you can tell them the truth, but since so much of society is lying, they won't believe you anyway, so they'll treat it as a lie. Then you can go on your merry way having told the truth but not having been believed and wonder if anyone will ever care what the truth really is.

Now, to most, that paragraph was absolutely nonsense and isn't worth thinking about in the slightest. No effort taken to unravel it or ponder it. The world goes on and on and on, and so much is ignored. Even when there is a nugget here and a shining diamond there.

Today I thought about children and all their questions. They ask why, but they don't have enough knowledge to fully process the answers, so they store information. They tuck it away until they gain more knowledge, then pull it out again to apply it later. Later, however, they may retrieve the information and never realize that after being stored for a long time, the information got dusty and they remembered it incorrectly, applied it wrongly, made assumptions and acted on those assumptions which were based on questions they asked when they were too little to understand the answers.

Today it occurred to me that even though I have always valued information and have asked the question 'why?' millions of times (no doubt) the information I stored while growing and learning became dusty and I needed to get a fresh look at things. Then, as I gained some years, I saw things through the eyes of experience and even wisdom at times, and I understood what I could not have understood before. This makes me realize that even later in my life, things that I hope to understand now will have more meaning later (duh) and I will value the depth of that knowledge even more. Older people already knew this and tried to tell me with words, but I just had to store the information until I could understand it better.

This all boiled down to the fact that I am glad I am not the one raising children. I use too many words to explain things. Too much data to store and sort out later. That's torture, and it leads to false assumptions. Message to the children who have been in my life: I'm sorry for using so many words to explain things. It's probably good that you often ignored me anyway. I'm trusting God to help you sort all those words out as you ask Him for help to understand them and continue to journey through life with courage and faith. I love you and I know you'll figure it out.

There...tah dah!! I feel better.