The Electric Bakery

1. Long lie, boiled egg and soldiers. Just the way I like to start the day.

2. Off out for a stroll along the prom. Tourism seems alive and well in this coastal resort - there are hoards of folk turning pink and becoming sticky with Mr Whippy.

3. And a stroll through town too. I'm glad to see the Electric Bakery is still doing a roaring trade.

4. I heard Rufus Wainright say that he cried at Bridesmaids, so loving nothing more than some Hollywood heartstring manipulation, I was looking forward to it. I assumed the cinema would be empty, but no. It was wall to wall with multi-generational hairdos, wild print maxi dresses and one or two mildly crabbit looking boys who were turning even pinker but had just recently replaced their whippy stickiness with Lynx. I didn't cry. I'm not even sure I would have lasted til the end had my seat not literally been furthest from the door. Plus, this crowd were just one small nudge from raging - some dopey burd in converse, make up free and hair never been back combed slinking out might have tipped them into a minstrel fuelled riot.

5. I had a McDonalds for dinner. Yup. McDonalds. And I tried for a Burger King in a carpark in Kilmarnock beforehand, but it was shut, so I tried hard to find it too. I am pink and getting pinker, my hands are sticky with McGoo but I feel no shame - I am on my holidays.