A Tiny Horse

Everything you ever wanted to learn about miniature horses...but were afraid to ask.

One of my old mail customers brought his mini-horses to my wifes nursing home. A lot of the patients couldn't ask questions...so I felt I should. He brought a pair...a male and a female...named Moe and Maxine.

ME: "Are these related to Shetland ponies?"
MR. S.: "Please don't call them Shetland ponies. They are miniature horses. Any breed can be made into minis...even a Clydesdale." (I got a mental picture of a mini-clydesdale carrying a mini-pack of Budweisers.)

ME: "How big can they be?"
MR. S.: There are 2 classes. My 2 horses are B's. B's must be 38 inches or shorter at the shoulder. A's are 27 inches or shorter at the shoulder." (I didn't even know horses had shoulders. Do you measure them in "hands" all the way up to their shoulders?")

ME: "Do you breed Moe and Maxine?"
MR S.: "Moe is a gelding." OUCH. (Moe has lost his marbles.)

ME: "Do you spend much time grooming them?"
MR. S. "No. I knew I was coming here...so I took the Shop-vac to them." (I have trouble when I suck up a sock...Can you imagine getting that horse tail stuck in there?)

ME: "MR. S....I don't have a good history with horses. Do you think I could throw my leg over Moe, and you could lead him around?"
MR. S.: "It's no wonder you were a mailman. What do you have...half-a-brain?" (Riding Moe was a no-go, and I didn't really ask that last question.)

But...that didn't stop my grandson Merrick from hopping on. Even at just over 8 months...I get this funny feeling that he's going to be able to do it all. Merrick mumbled. I understood the question. He asked..."Where's the rope I hang onto?" There was no rope, so he grabbed a handful of mane with his left hand, and raised that chubby little right hand as high as he could. He looked ready to fly out of the chute. He mumbled again. "8 SECONDS...I NEED 8 SECONDS!!! C'MON MOE...IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT?"

Merrick the rodeo bronc-buster. Cowgirls beware. I guess since I can't ride...I'll have to be one of those rodeo clowns. Bring me a barrel....

P.S. That's my daughter KK holding the rider up. MR. S. is in the yellow shirt. I hate to say it...but...his tiny horses were adorable. Makes me want to watch an old Shirley Temple western.