WARNING - Depressing

How apt was this sign when, walking around the corner the thought of carelessly walking in front of a car entered my mind.

NOTE - I am not suicidal, neither am I a self harmer, I couldn't bear the thought of someone else feeling guilt and I cannot hurt myself, I'm a wuss!

My family medical history has a lot of depression and although I've had bouts of it, I've recognised it and pulled myself out. This time, I can feel myself sinking, I know why, and I know that there is a light at the end.

Small things like my Mum comments on the state of my threadbare underwear - I don't treat myself, children first! Personal comments which I don't like to post and the fact that as she walks past me, she touches me, I back away but she continues and then tells me that I'm putting on weight. She makes me feel so body conscious, she's not supermodel material and I know she hates her body - is she trying to reflect her feelings on me as, except for a few lbs, I'm pretty happy with myself. Or, at least, I was.

Storm decided not to sleep last night, so I've had the grand total of 3 hours, after a 6am start yesterday. I think I have decided that I actually do not want another baby. I cannot deal with this sleeplessness and the lethargy that comes with it. Best I start taking my vitamins again.

Still, only 2 weeks and 5 days to go. It can't go quickly enough.

And for the record, I shan't be walking in front of any cars!!! I promise!!