about appraisals

Yesterday evening, after going to bed, she suddenly stood, walked to the bedroom door and said: 'Puuppi, puuppi!'

We knew that she did want to go to the potty. Little did we anticipate that she gave us a big gift - a jolly good pooh.

And I was of course proud of her - sensing when it's time to go to the potty. And informing us too about the feeling.

Then I made a mistake - namely I praised the little princess for giving us a gift before falling asleep.

I did not remember the one rule - praise the behavior you want to see in others.
I did remember that today. Today, the little princess did go to the potty from bed. And did her best to give us the gift. She really tried. And succeeded - a tiny one.

If only I had praised her for knowing when it's time to go to the potty. If only I had praised her for the process, not to the actual outcome. Had I only thought beyond just observing.

Now we could have a little princess who would go to the potty only when she needs it - not to please her parents.
Shame on me!