The key

to success is what? Money? Love? A big house? Having your time to yourself?

Who knows. I know what it isn't. It isn't slogging your guts out 8-5 everyday for someone else to get rich thats for sure. People who know me may be interested to hear a little more about this mornings events. Feel free to ask away from the glare of the public domain. Suffice to say this: there has to be change in the coming weeks. I'm fed up of always taking the victims role wherever I go.

Do you know what? Today I don't have the energy to even moan about it. I'm sick to the back teeth of smiling, being polite and getting as much recognition as Midge Ure did for Live Aid. Instead I'm stripped (not literally) of my various perks and made to feel like a fucking leper.

Remember a while back on here I chatted about it being 'fate' that I end up on blip? Yeah I know I talk some shit at times, but I'm still firmly believing that I am on the road to lead me somewhere. Things are bad without being life threatening bad y'know? It's like I hate everything and nearly everyone I know and socialise with (not everyone but a majority) and yet I'm still in full health. Despite the so called depression I feel good in myself.... I think it's almost time for that destiny to reveal itself. I hope to god it's not some Billy Elliott dancing shit, or a spell in the armed forces.

I've recently been chatting to someone who I'm discovering is just the most wonderful person you could imagine. By that I'm not doing my usual idiot routine, but it's a real connection that I suspect is there. It's nice to have that. It's nice looking forward to getting an email, and its nice being made to think when responding. It's nice to have questions asked about me as well as asking them myself.

It's just nice. Stupid probably but in the context its good to have a friend whom I thinkis a friend because of who they are, not what they do or where they work or where they went to school. All my friends are connected by some tedious link up in the past.

Yeah. Anyway fuck everything else. Sorry for the language but its where I am. Last week you didn't get a good feel for this because I was banging on about all that government mullarkey. So here is an update. Or rather there was an update.

On the plus side I beat Kirky 9-0 on FIFA last night. I celebrted by watching Apocolypse Now. Odd film.