Elephant foot

In the delight of finally getting a shower yesterday I managed to not be upset by the THREE offers I had to take me out, none of which materialised. Being used to no offers at all, I thought three was a little ambitious, but not to worry - without explanation, none of them happened. Is it because I is ugly?
At least yesterday I finally managed to scrub off the arrow in black marker pen drawn by the surgeon on my left foot, presumably to remind them to lay open the swollen, deformed and floppy leg rather than the rather shapely slim one. Now I'm pissed off at having a leg like the Elephant Man's, as well as no prospect of getting out in the foreseeable... Bah humbug.