Their tinsel show, an a' that,

Tonicht, wuz a nicht fae culture.

We went tae th' theatre, tae celebrate burns, an' a 'at.

It was pure deid smashing. Ra Floorstompers played as wairm up and they wuz braw. They played everythin' frae the Jam, tae Duffy, and Eric Clapton an even U2.

'en we hud a West Soond dj. pure, Ayrshire Royality so he wuz, An' he introduced th' big names.

Three folk that didne win th' X-factor. The lassie hud big thighs, the Brazilian hud a kilt oan, and played the bongos. Whun he stairted tae sing opera, that's whin we hud enuf.

Aye. A man's a man fur all that!