Bubbles (A desperation blip)

Chaotic, frenetic, at times, not at all constructive, at other times, amazingly so.

That was my day and I am sure it was similar to everyone else today.

Preparation is everything. So much so that from 7.40 this morning to 7.50 this evening, we didn't stop. Left school just before 8, home by 20 past, to start work again on planning my lessons for tomorrow at 8.40pm. Had my tea at 10.30pm, am now going for a long soak in a badedas filled bath.

Am fretting.

Not through lack of prep - I'm all prepped out. I'm ready.

Am fretting because what I really wanted to be able to do today was to get round to people, check they were OK, see if there was anything they needed and basically do the thing that I can be good at sometimes, which is being supportive of people. I feel bad that my own preparations consumed me whole and that I didn't get to speak with people who I know would have appreciated it.

Had a brief wobble mid afternoon when reading through some exercise books and I came across handwriting from our irreplaceable colleague and I cried. Ridiculous, but I did. I hope that he is up there, tickled pink that he is not going to have to go through this, but rooting for us and reminding us why we have to do this for the next two days. I reminded myself of his stories from previous inspections - of the inspector who chastised him for using the phrase "Good God" in his lesson (told him he had blasphemed!) and for the number of times that he told us that he was "outstanding" ("the inspector told me so").

So, me duck, I know that a number of us will have you in mind when we do this thing the next two days and when we get what we deserve, we will celebrate with you in spirit.