For Molly.....

Today I can't kid on I'm happy... Have done the past two days. Have just been feeling bewildered about many things and have been thinking about many things..... Molly, all she represented, this website, what it means to me, the fact that I'm fond of a lot of people here, the fact that losing someone here hurts just as much as loosing any friend. Then not being sure how to express that, not wanting to be/sound depressing... Then being annoyed at myself for THAT... Because I AM sad.... Of course I'm sad!

My last two blips sounded ridiculously happy! I've felt the contrary. Did not go away yesterday .... Needed time and space in my own house to reflect. And grieve. Needed something... To DO something... But wasn't sure what!

Last night someone provided something of an answer. I read a comment on Gladder's blip page and if this helps anyone else then that will be good. Apparently Molly's funeral is at 10.30am today. I take it that's Italian time. That's in a hour from now (9.30, British time). It's nearly 8.30 now. I don't know about anyone else... But I need to give some time to her today. To think, pray and reflect again on everything she represented. I think this is what I've needed... A funeral marks something. Some people say 'closure' although I'm personally not that keen on this word. Maybe 'good-bye' for me. And the start of a moving on.

I'm packed mostly... And plan to head after that time. And indeed... I plan to enjoy the beauty I see. She'd sure as hell not want us miserable forever. She celebrated all that was beautiful, interesting and fun... I want to do that too. But after my good bye to her.

Once again.....RIP Molly.....we miss you....



PS... I'm sure people do know... But what was also said was that her husband was doing OK and did indeed have access to all our tributes here. It helped me to know this. It was the not knowing that has bewildered me the most.