It's not how you'd like it to be

But it's a sum of years.

Before compelling others to do as you wish, stop for a moment and take a deep dive into your brain and thoughts. If the change you wish for is as necessary as you think it, be the firestarter yourself. None shall demand others to follow their wishes just because they think they have the right to: to change something be the change yourself, for that's where it all starts. Empty demands just don't work.

Don't close your eyes, explore every perspective you face and try to think outside the box. Also prepare to make decisions and close doors, for you lay as you make your bed. This is personally for those who can churn out demands but who are not following their own guidelines. I'm writing this just because I know who do read this besides those who really adore to surf through my stuff here.

During my short life, I've been left alone so many times without any real reason. I was that shabby and shy child standing alone aside the playground, while other children didn't want me to come play with them. I had a speech defect, I stuttered and I always blushed when I had to have a presentation or something like that. I was bullied but nobody cared, not to mention that I myself cared but was too kindly and blue-eyed to contradict. I became a passive, crestfallen young person.

However, today, in 2011, I'm at last standing on my own with an iron dignity and visions of the future. I've found my real friends, interests and aims to fulfill. However, the people who once didn't care have somehow grown a supposition that I should please them, though they've barely ever given me anything positive back. No one ever even regretted.

The years spent in silence were enough to tell it all. I hope none of you readers can't imagine the sadness of a 10-year-old child, who was the only one uninvited to a classmate's birthday party. That kind of memories can't be forgotten like they had never happened. They can gnaw and distress you 'til you're old, wrinkly and perhaps hunch-backed.

As a result, I can forgive but never forget. You may think that children are children, but, after all, childhood is perhaps the most notable age of our lives. It's not that simple to return all those years with a demand like "you should say 'hi' to me" or "I myself may tolerate you if you follow these instructions bla bla bla" etc.

I've forgiven, but, all in all, thank you for nothing.

Ps. This shot was taken at school today, while I was finishing the school magazine. This shot is also going to be my editor-in-chief portrait on the next number, but as a B&W version, though this wasn't the most correct capture of me.