Health and Safety

The instructions on the trampoline clearly state, one person at a time, who should weigh between 15 and 15.2 kg, should have no history of any illness whatsoever, should stand vertically in the middle and oscillate no more than 17nm at any one time. If they should feel the slightest motion they are to retire to bed, or the nearest A&E department.

So everyone look the other way as there are three children on here, plus a spade carrying dog. Fortunately the instructions say nothing about dogs or spades. Last Monday there were up to 9 children and a dog at any one time, and still the world refused to come to an end. What does one have to do these days?