Please hold

"- Hey, Hang on a minute. Yeah, my Dad's just come through and he's got that face on like he wants to say something.

- Probably wants me to explain something simple, like why all the cushions are off the sofa, or there's mud all the way from one door to the other, or how those things got to the bottom of the stairs, or the fridge door being wide open - again.

- Honestly I'm fed up explaining myself. He treats me like a child. What? Yours too? What are we going to do with them?

- Listen. Better go. He's about to use my full name, and that tone of voice. I'll call you later when I've sorted him out. Laters."

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"Hi Dad.

It wasn't me."