Eggstra! Eggstra!

In the region of 30 creme egg minis were masacred today in a suburban house in the Edinburgh area, despite vigilant security from Corporal Buzby and his patrol.

It is though to have been an inside job. Lance Corporal McCrafty is suspected of smashing the fake eggs in an eggstreme display of guilty pleasure. As yet the weapon used, which could hold vital clues, has not been found. An eye witness said that the police simply were not taking the matter seriously and that he suspected the weapon had not yet been disposed of.

In other news, local dog owners have been warned to keep their dogs out of parks in the area, as a number of rotten hard boiled eggs had been abandoned on the hills. The eggs, if digested, could cause servere stomach pains and may lead to vomitting and diahorrea. It is not known when the clean up operation will be completed, but a flock of seagulls were on the case. Perhaps, despite sun being forecast, an umberella would be useful ammunition tomorrow.