I need servants!

Not 'staff' or 'employees', but 'servants' - you know, people who will do all the horrible, boring, hard-work type jobs and pander to my every whim for a pittance, leaving me with time to concentrate on the important things in life, like lying on the sofa all morning watching TV until it's time to go out for lunch. I thought the kids might prove useful one day but that hasn't worked out yet.

What's that - I'd soon get bored? Well then, I'd have to have a special servant to make sure I didn't!