horns of wilmington's cow

By anth

Into the Light

Dear reader I hope you are sitting down. It may serve you well to have a strong drink to hand as well. I have some news... I am... enjoying work.

I know. Astonishing isn't it? I maen, contracts and stuff are still boring, but being in a workplace which appreciates your efforts, and goes as far as thanking you for them, as well as trusting you to have drafted the right thing, and then invite you to the meeting to discuss the documents as you will be able to explain the suggested changes better... What the hell have my last 6 years of employment torture been about, hmmm?

Adding to this rediscovered joie de vivre are two 4-day weekends in a row; the shining sun; resuming the daily bike rides; and watching a mechanical bird of prey on the roof opposite scare away the gulls. So a quick thanks to Jesus for dying; to Wills and Kate for entrancing an increasingly personality-zombified nation; Jesus for being reborn and celebrating by eating a giant chocolate egg (whaddya mean the chocolate eggs had nothing to do with the story and were simply a confectioner-money-making ploy? Next you'll be telling me the Three Wise Men didn't wrap his gifts in comedy Mickey Mouse wrapping paper); God for providing the sun; Professor Brian Cox for explaining how the sun actually works; the weatherpeople for ensuring that the clouds stay away; my bike for not breaking; my legs for not giving up; my work for providing some excellent bike parking; a bird's natural reaction to the threat of being eaten; and the model-making ability of an Chinese sweatshop worker.

In other news I see Call-Me-Dave, aka. the Plastic-Faced Smug Leering Possibly-Toupeed Tory Assassin, reckons the Conservatives can become the major force in politics in Scotland. Laugh? In truth the image of Salmond's jowls wobbling in laughter at the comment kind of put me off. Ironically our version of proportional representation north of the border gives the Tories more of a voice than they would have under first past the post - I wonder, if there was a campaign to reverse the democratic process in Scotland, would the Tories back it? Or would they (I'm merely hypothesising here you realise) switch allegiance based on whatever protects their own slimey interests at the expense of any change which might genuinely benefit the voting public of the country in a desperate attempt to cling to some remnant of their old-world power like, say, a north-African dictator saying his people have been fed hallucenogenic substances in their coffee to turn them against him?

Which brings up another intriguing question. Whose face looks the most like it is permanently wrapped in clingfilm?

Ah, Gaddafi, he used to be our friend you know. Till very very recently as it happens. A bit like Nick Clegg. Really, when it comes down to it, FPP or AV or full PR... Does it really matter while a large proportion of our politicians, and certainly those in positions of power, are sleazy manipulative cowardly marketing automatons pressed from the same mould as idolised personalities, with little care for anyone but their closest buddies and only a vague notion of where 'humanity' should rank in the moral maze compared to money, oil, power, greed and free lunches?

I love election time, don't you?

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