With God On Our Side

A break in the cloud cover up on the moor, and the sunlight's filtering through onto the power lines. When I saw it, it genuinely looked like one of those Also Sprach Zarathustra moments, like I was being guided by a higher power to the magical pylon of destiny, or something. In the few seconds before I realised just how monumentally stupid that notion really was, it all seemed quite nice. Wouldn't it be brilliant if you never had to make your own decisions, but could instead rely on a divine being to give you handy hints via the convenient medium of the weather? As an added bonus, since you'd be acting on the direct orders of your god, there'd be no need to take any responsibility for your subsequent actions. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition! Don't blame me, a funny-shaped cloud told me to do it!

Rest assured that I'm not launching a broadside at people of any faith who have religious beliefs that they abide by without harming, judging or generally annoying those who don't share the same convictions. Those folks are alright, and long may they continue on their sensible course of not pissing me off. Rather, it's those who merrily relinquish the necessity to think for themselves, refuse to engage with basic logic, or show any consideration for other human beings, who tend to get me riled. As my co-worker John put it during a lengthy discussion on the matter yesterday: "I don't mind anyone talking to God, talk to God all you want. But if you think He's talking back to you, that's when I'm ringing the nuthouse and reserving you a bed."

There have been way too many of them, throughout history. Barbarous warmongers, halfwit tyrants, frenzied lunatics (and that's just Ronald Reagan). Cult leaders, crusaders, jihadis. People like Arnold Potter, who attempted to "ascend into heaven" by the novel approach of jumping off a cliff. Or the Reverend Jim Jones, who, not content with being the self-styled Second Coming of Christ, also claimed to be the reincarnation of Akhenaten, Buddha and Vladimir Ilyich Lenin (which is some pretty brazen soul-hogging if you ask me). The Westboro Baptist Church, who pursue a rigourous campaign of abuse and hatred against pretty much everyone who isn't them. Mohamed Atta, Marwan al-Shehhi, Ziad Jarrah and Hani Hanjour, who hijacked four passenger planes on September 11th 2001 before committing possibly the worst act in the name of a god that I'll ever see in my lifetime (and I really do hope that as long as I'm breathing, no-one gets it into their skull to try and outdo the four of them). But all it takes is someone with a couple of nuclear missiles and a "dialogue" with their deity, and hi ho, hi ho, it's off to war we go.

So in conclusion, I'll make a plea. Nutters of the world: that voice in your head telling you to be an Olympic-class bastard does not belong to your god, or anyone else's. Just chill out. Go for a walk. And if you see some nice shafts of sunlight beaming through the clouds, trust me, they're not trying to tell you anything about a magical pylon. What kind of idiot are you?