Comfort Food

After a trip to Riverside County Regional Medical Center this morning, Mr. Fun & I were headed for home. We had been to see our good buddy George who is, well, he's dying of prostate cancer. George is the music leader at the little church we attend. Our hearts are hurting so much.

After the visit we drove west back through Riverside toward Corona/Norco and then the traffic ahead of us was coming to a stand-still as we were moving past downtown Riverside. So we exited the 91 Freeway to get something cold to drink. The temperature was 90 degrees.

Mr. Fun pulled into the parking lot of "Farmer Boys Restaurant" but couldn't find a shady parking place and I suggested that we go toward the Mission Inn to a place called Simple Simon's, which is a great bakery and breakfast/lunch place. I had forgotten that Saturday is the "farmer's market' on the outdoor mall by the bakery and the Inn. People were everywhere. I looked at him and said, "Let's take this ugly moment and all of our hurt, and go have some comfort food. If we can't get rid of the hurts, maybe a soothing moment and some delicious food would help."

He just laughed at me and said, "Yeah comfort food works for me and it has way too often. That's why I've been overweight most of my life."

So we changed direction and walked into the wonderful marvelous environment of the Mission Inn. For the next hour or so we soaked our thoughts in the beauty of the place, in the pleasure of the food, and in the joy of memories as we spoke about George.

I told Mr. Fun that I'm afraid to cry because I think I might not be able to stop. So I vacillate between blinking away tears and pushing away anger because I am either really sad or really mad that our friend is dying.

Nearly two years ago, George was given the verdict that he had prostate cancer. He has been living with that diagnosis, while not having medical insurance. So initially he didn't do anything. He couldn't afford treatment.

This past Monday the doctors gave him a prognosis that is not encouraging. The cancer in his body has spread -- now he has a tumor at the back of his skull and in his ribs and his hips. His PSA has risen in three months to 2285; normal is approximately 3. The doctors suspect that the cancer is in the bone marrow; he is not producing red blood cells adequately, so that explains why he has been severely anemic. The cancer is spreading more rapidly than previously thought. Initially George had no way of getting treatment. Now George does not want chemotherapy. He is too weak to go home.

He does have an amazing social worker who is doing the paperwork so George can be admitted to a care facility, hopefully in our community, where his strength can be increased and so too can visits from friends who can't travel to the other side of Riverside to see him.

While we visited with George this morning, it was obvious that he is under the influence of serious medication and was nodding off to sleep occasionally. But at one point he said to us, "Could you get me some more time out of here? I need a little more time to say goodbye to some people."

That's a pretty hard request to deal with and I blinked away tears. Awhile later George told us we ought to leave because he really needed to sleep. So we asked if he'd like to have prayer before we made our exit and he said yes. So we prayed and then he did and he finished with the words in Jesus precious name. That's the name of a song that George wrote and has sung numerous times at church. So as we all opened our eyes, I said, "George that sounds just like the song you wrote and have sung at church." He nodded his head yes.

Then I said, "Hey, you sing another song from time-to-time called "Justified." Did you write that one?" His quick wit kicked in immediately as he answered, "No, but I meant too." I just busted out laughing. One of the most delightful aspects of our friendship with George has been the numerous times he has made us laugh. It was wonderful to end our visit this morning with laughter.

While eating our delicious lunch at the outdoor patio of the Mission Inn restaurant, the table next to us emptied and immediately the birds landed. I looked at Mr. Fun and whispered, "Comfort food." He took my camera and captured the moment.

Good night from a very hot Southern California.
Rosie (& Mr. Fun), aka Carol

P.S. Here's my blip of George a year ago and the brief story of our friendship.