These shoes are made for talking

They may as well talk, they hum as it is.

These are my old shoes purchased from one River Island (the shop not some hippy with one of those unique names that singles him out as a twat silly person) in 2007. I've pretty much worn them everyday for various jobs since, wearing out not only the actual inner sole but then a succesion of odour eaters as well. It's fair to say my feet are hardcore.

* insert your own melodramatic blurb about 'walking a day in my shoes' or 'if you'd taken the steps I have' blah blah blah. You've read enough of my stuff to know the sort of absolute shit things I come out with.

PLEASE take a second to look at Saturdays backblip. I had some terrible news last night about a close friend and I've dedicated what I believe to be one of my best shots to her. Get well soon Clean. No jokes in this paragraph, when a close friend is seriously injured things get put into perspective. I think I've got issues? Not at all.

I'm at work and even here the internet is being a cock bit of a pain. It's slower than business a Gary Glitter look-a-like agency. I come to work, can't get on line. I go home, can't get online. It's like living in the 1980's without the football violence and shit electro pop music. My mobile phone won't connect to the internet so everyday for two months it's told me it's raining with highs of 7 and lows of 3. How come I got sunburned then mr HTC Desire? Eh? Is it coz I is ginger? Or is it coz you is crap below average at predicting the weather? (Actually its a bit of both).

Right must dash I've just noticed the NVQ assessor (Sue 60 from Bournemouth maybe) is being accompanied by Hot Blond Trainee (27, and soon to be from my house, Lincolnshire) so I have to rush off and make lame excuses to hang around reception trying to be witty and amusing but exuding a rugged charm and natural good looks that will have her wishing she was my other half.

(Todays blip has been censored by the 'pre-blip' police, and the version you received has been heavily edited to reflect my mellow side.)