I am King.

If in doubt, I will always return to Chancelot Mill to find an image. It never fails me. I love its cylindrical melancholia.
Pretensious, moi?

And now to buy the papers, The Hairy Bikers' cookbook and present them all to 'er indoors with a fine breakfast as she basks under the duvet. She is, after all, 'the queen of f*****g everything' as the coaster on her bedside table says.
I sound like the perfect partner, don't I, ladies? Well, between you and me, for those couple of hours while she's basking, I find a silent sanctuary where, in my tiny mind, I get to be the king of nearly something.