Wedding outfit!

Today began by going to church to get our annual smudge. After that I decided being as I was on my own it might be a good idea to buy a new outfit to wear at my friend's son's wedding which is this Sat!
I wondered off down to Partick where there seemed to be a string of dress shops all in a row on Dunbarton Rd. The first one had garish rumply crumply styles, not me at all, Ive seen better dressed potato sacks! Next stop was the shop next door, very fancy expensive dresses, decided to try one on, a wee plain blue number. Tried it on God I looked like some sort of Telitubby!I have to say the red woolly socks did nothing to enhance the picture. Onto shop no 3 which was run by very well dressed wee Glasgow wiffies. They ahd all manner of dresses, long, short, rumply, crumply, frilly, v necks, plunging necks what ever. Well in for a penny in for a pound and saw a black number with a red band round the middle. Asked to put it on so went into a tiny cubicle with a mirror propped up against the wall and absloutly no light. After a struggle I got the wretched thing over my head and after some strenuous tugging got everything to settle where I thought it ought to be. Only problem was the red band round what I thought would be roughly where my middle would be was not! It was somewhere under my bust, decided to take it off!!
Well would the dang thing budge? It stuck solid somwhere with my arms stuck inside the blessed thing and I was trapped like a trussed turkey!
Major panic! what did I do, I couldnt shout for thep as the place was full plus the cursed red wooly socks would have made me a laughing stock. After some grunting and contortionig it finally released me! Phew I could also breath again

Slunk out and crossed the road to Catherines of Pertick. Now those of you that follow my demented ramblings will remember this is the shop that stiffed me for several hundred rupees for a prom dress for #2 daughter and do yous remember the bloody bag? Anhow I took a deep breat and entered their hallowed hall. I looked around and knowing that I was the only person in their shop that looked like they had fallen off a flitting, the assistants gave me a wide bearth. There was one however that obioulsy thought God had put this problem her way and asked if she could help. Before that I overheard a very big wuman who was with her friend and she was trying dresses on for what according to her friend seemed like an eternity, she had promised her lunch if she helped her to pick a dress. Well the conversation went like this."do you think Ilook frumpy in this?" what a thing to ask what up until then was your best friend? "oh no, but I do think you looked better in the other dress as it showed your details off better"Details? my mind boggled.

Anyhows to cut a very long story short, I decided to go fro a nice elegant trouser suit which I would feel comfortable in and could wear again so after picking two that I liked and trying them on, I went for the fancy stripy number with a white top and navy breeks. As the trousers were about three feet too long the assistant suggested I try on a pair of dainty heeled shoes, I thought God the red wooly socks, however she was the soul of discretion and brought some nylon socky things , while I teetered on the one inch heel the dressmaker measured the breeks. Whens the wedding she casually asked, this Sat I said, I swear she swallowed her pins she had in her gob!

Anyhow being releived of yet another substantial number of greenshileds I swaggered out clutching my posh Catherines of Pertick classy carrier bag.

If I get drunk enough at the wedding I may allow somone to take my photo for a blip. And No Mr Brown, I did not buy a bag!

Above picture is of a classy lady in my folks lounge

Have a good dressy blip evening all