Walden

Yesterday, I was standing in the kitchen, leaning over the island, laughing and chatting with my roommates, Jill and Evan. We were splitting a bottle of red wine, eating fresh chocolate chip cookies, and generally having a great time.

In a lull, I checked my email on my phone, and in approximately 3 to 5 seconds, my entire world turned upside down.

I am sure everyone here can relate to having a big dream - no matter what area of your life it is in. The kind of dream you don't expect to realize quickly - or, if you're like me, the kind of dream you worry you may never realize at all.

Last night, I got an email about something very unexpected. I am suddenly faced with my big dream - within my grasp - and I am scared beyond all reason. The opportunity is there, and I am already moving on it, but what if it somehow slips through my grasp?

So, today, I woke up needing clarity. It was very cold, but no rain, so I drove out to Walden Pond to channel a little Henry David Thoreau. It was even colder there, bitterly windy, and the pond is still frozen solid, the trail covered with ice and snow. But it was good. I am still full of butterflies, anticipation, worry, and fear, but I am also sending out wishes to the universe that all my hard work lead me to the path I am meant to follow. Of course, I hope that path is the one I am currently attempting to pursue, but if not, I am hopeful that it will make itself clear.

Thus I sit here, nauseous with anticipation and with no clear resolution in sight. There are weeks between here and the finish line. Hopefully I won't be full of jitters like a lovesick teenager the whole time.