Finally

NEW DESK!!

Poor Jim, being forced into Ikea not once, but Twice, because the screws were missing the first time, and then they were hard to put in and he got a blister... but.. NEW DESK!!

Here you see the staff are helping fill it with my crap very important things. Then I can shut it down to prevent small hands meddling with stuff. Then I can put stuff all over the top and nver open it again (according to Jim. Probably correctly, annoyingly enough)

'Red legs on a black desk? Why would you want furniture from the 80's??'
Spoken like a true gentleman.